The New Fatherhood: How Work-Flex Plays In

This month, we brought you some of the recent work/life balance topics that we LOVE ? on tap, NYC fathers and work-flex. We were fortunate to interview the co-organizers of NYC Dads Group, Lance and Matt, for their perspectives.

Last year, Boston College Center for Work & Family published The New Dad: Caring, Committed and Conflicted, based on a survey of nearly 1,000 professional fathers from Fortune 500 companies in four different industries. This seminal study revealed a tangible social shift: contemporary fathers wish to become more involved in their children?s lives, and they need work-flex options and community and employer support to do so.

Matt Schneider agrees. Co-organizer of the NYC Dads Group, a community of 500 plus members that gives fathers opportunities to socialize and support each other through parenthood, Matt sees a familial shift occurring that will resonate in the public sphere. ?Shifting breadwinning/caregiving roles have opened up opportunities to evaluate career and lifestyle decisions based on factors beyond gender,? Matt said. ?Partners are sitting down together to figure out what makes sense for their families.? Yet, adds Lance Somerfeld, second co-organizer of the group, ?the workplace has not changed quickly enough to accommodate fathers.? Even as a mother-supportive workplace has emerged, we are still at the infancy of realizing shifts in work culture and options for fathers.

Conflicting Expectations for New Fathers
While the importance of work/family balance has increased for fathers, the Boston College study indicated that only 1 in 20 fathers took more than two weeks off after their most recent child was born, and 1 in 100 took 5 weeks or more off. Lance notes that ?two to four weeks? is not going to matter that much in a forty year career.? Still, he adds that ?research shows new dads actually spend a few extra hours per week at work after the birth of a child - not less!? This may contribute to the discrepancy fathers report between the amount of caregiving they would like to be doing versus the amount they actually do. According to Matt, new fathers uniquely find themselves grappling with higher expectations both at work and home. ?Studies show that managers and senior leaders are thrilled to hear that a man is about to become a parent?fathers tend to work harder and are less likely to leave,? said Matt. ?On the other hand, many men have higher expectations for themselves as fathers and their partners have higher expectations as well.?

Roadblocks to Work-flex
Introducing more flexibility to the location and scheduling of work may alleviate some of these pressures, but many new fathers do not take advantage of these opportunities for the same reasons professional women do not: concerns over long-term career prospects and financial impact. Moreover, social pressures ? best represented by the question stay-at-home fathers encounter, ?shouldn?t you be at work??? deter fathers from considering part-time options. Lance, an elementary school teacher who decided to take advantage of a childcare leave of absence policy to be an at-home dad and primary caregiver, credits Matt for being the role model that he feels more fathers need. ?More business leaders need to lead by example when they become new parents ? establishing paternity leave policies, making it easier for new parents to have flexible schedules, and being supportive of new dads.???

Leading the Change
Lance and Matt facilitate New Dad Boot Camps, a workshop for expectant dads to get some hands-on training with babies, learn tools to be a good partner, and voice their concerns about work-life balance. Based on their work with fathers, Matt and Lance call for flexible policies and a focus on culture change in the workplace to help fathers navigate work-life conflict. Their three suggestions?

1. Include more men in the discussion around work-flex. ??Moms have been fighting this battle alone for too long, and fathers are ready to join them,? Matt says.
2. Encourage men to act as role models and address the topic through example. ?If a company is serious about creating a more integrated workplace, senior leaders and supervisors need to demonstrate their own ability to work productively while prioritizing family.?
3. Improve technological systems that support flex and part-time work, but set boundaries as well. With new devices, ?the workplace is a 24/7 environment,? notes Lance. ?We need to live by the boundaries we establish to be more effective and ?tuned in? parents.?

?We certainly have to have more conversations about what makes a dad-friendly (or parent-friendly) workplace,? Lance concludes, and the NYC Dads Group is doing just that. ?We want a workplace where new dads don?t have to sneak out to attend a pediatrician appointment or parent & me music class one morning per week, meet with an infant sleep consultant, or make family dinner.?

At Mom Corps NYC, we address the work-flex needs of all professionals ? fathers included.

Thank you Matt and Lance!

Matt Schneider and Lance Somerfeld are co-organizers of NYC Dads Group, a diverse community of over 500 members created to give fathers opportunities to socialize and support each other through parenthood.

Source: http://www.momcorpsnyc.com/candidates/the-new-fatherhood-how-work-flex-plays-in/

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